Dez Reads. Bring A Book to the Bar.

There’s a new bar in DC that is banning phones. This is obviously a good thing. MaryGrace Lucas leads this week with the story of Hush Harbor, where patrons are expected to seal their phones and, you know, be present and human for an hour or so.

My suggestion, as someone who is insufferable in his obsession with the iPhone’s role in the gradual destruction of humanity, is to bring a book or magazine to the bar. Trust me; you do not want to stare slack-jawed at nonstop reels of boring people doing mildly amusing things. You don’t actually enjoy it, and it is actively making you dumber! And, in my experience, if you are interested in conversations with strangers, the novelty of seeing a book is guaranteed to start at least one conversation. If you’re feeling insular, the immersive effect of reading in public makes it easy to make clear to others that this is Me Time. Make Everywhere Hush Harbor.

Furthering the screens = bad theme, I was fascinated by an article in Nature about the emerging discipline of applying behavioral science to future technologies. By studying simulations of, say, an autonomous vehicle future, scientists can begin to evaluate moral, ethical, and safety concerns at a deep level, so that we may create better regulations around new innovations.

Jen Hirshon chronicles a badass 50-year-old gymnast who may just qualify for her 9^th Olympics. This is astounding and appealing to the gymnastics dad in me. Phil Bogdan muses about the confluence of cannabis, stuffed animals, and killer pythons in Florida. Mark Emerson brings us home with the latest twist in the Jordon Hudson saga….and hopefully close to the last?

Welcome back from August recess, and thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

No Phones Allowed.

Washingtonian. No Phones Allowed at This New DC Bar. Seriously.

I was (naturally) scrolling my phone when I read about Hush Harbor, a new DC bar inviting guests to seal away their phones in Yondr pouches. It’s not exactly a crazy concept. Comedy shows often do this. And even Top Gun: Maverick turned the too-much-phone-in-the-bar thing into a punchline (based apparently on a real bar).

I get it. And I love the genuine intention. Chef Rock Harper tells Washingtonian, “It’s not going to be preachy or punitive... if you put [your phone] away, you can really have a wonderful, different time that we’re not really used to having right now.”

That’s actually kind of refreshing. So, while I will admit I’d personally miss my device and the ease of sharing a quick photo or pulling up a meme to feel more connected even in person, I also think right now DC needs private spaces for private political conversations. Here’s hoping Washingtonians take Hush Harbor up on that opportunity.

– MaryGrace Lucas

Science Fiction Science?

Nature. The science fiction science method

“Imagine that behavioural scientists managed to predict the effect of social media on mental health and democratic life before social media actually existed.”

By applying the scientific method of study to speculative technologies, the authors of this paper argue that we can anticipate and mitigate negative outcomes stemming from future innovations. If, for example, conducted rigorous research of a simulated social media world back in the 1990s, perhaps we would have put regulatory guardrails and cultural norms in place to prevent our kids from becoming addicted to flashy iPhone slop.

It has been said that science fiction predicts the future, and Silicon Valley builds it. By adding a layer of purposeful, anticipatory research and analysis before new technologies are unleashed, perhaps we can avoid the destruction of the human species that is consistently predicted across the sci-fi genre.

– Josh Culling

Age Is Just a Number.

WaPo. The 50-year-old gymnast determined to make her ninth Olympics

At 50, Oksana Chusovitina is rewriting what we think is possible in gymnastics. In a sport defined by youth, where most retire before 25, her pursuit of a ninth Olympic Games is almost unbelievable. Yet Chusovitina is eyeing her ninth Olympics, not because she needs to prove anything, but because she still loves the training, the discipline, the thrill. It keeps her going. I. Love. This.

If she qualifies for the 2028 Olympics, Chusovitina would not just be the oldest gymnast ever; she’d be a living contradiction to the cultural script that says passion and purpose have expiration dates.

Although I may not follow gymnastics closely, I will be cheering for her when she competes in Los Angeles. She is taking on more than just other athletes; she is also challenging societal expectations of what women are capable of in their 50s. Go girl.

– Jen Hirshon

Come With Me If You Want to Live.

ABC News. Robot rabbits in Florida battle to control invasive Burmese pythons in Everglades

Up to 300,000 Burmese pythons, brought to Florida via the exotic pet trade, have eaten around 95 percent of the cute fur-bearing animals around Everglades National Park, and these pythons are multiplying like rabbits.

How could one shut down this unstoppable force of nature? The perfect answer to that question, which could only have been answered by a few pot-smoking snake catchers who saw Monty Python’s Holy Grail and The Terminator, was this: Cute… terminator… bunnies.

And so, it became: 120 robot terminator bunnies were deployed to lure snakes out for professionals to catch and “dispose.” Amazing idea! Thank you, Monty Python, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and pot for helping us humans creatively solve problems.

I used to play a game with myself where I’d try to find truly original thoughts, having never even been considered by another. I concluded it wasn’t possible. It seems “original” ideas, like terminator bunnies, are rooted in words or concepts we’d learned before. Yet, all of these words and concepts must have been original at some point. Pretty mind blowing when you think about it.

– Phil Bogdan

From Playbook to Paycheck.

Fox. Bill Belichick’s girlfriend Jordon Hudson, 24, files trademark application for term ‘gold digger’

She takes Bill’s money, when Bill’s in neeeeeed!

This is textbook. Famous rich old guy, young girlfriend, 50+ years apart, and a drama miniseries for the ages. They’ve been calling plays in the tabloids all summer, but the latest twist? Jordon Hudson recently filed a trademark for the term “gold digger.”

You can’t make this up. She’s planning to put the quote on jewelry and keychains.

Now, I’m not one to judge. He’s coaching again. He’s got Jordon on his arm and shows no concern for the resulting media firestorm. But Jordon is scoring more with this relationship than UNC football ever will. Ignorance is bliss 🤷🏻‍♂️. The spotlight has been blazing hot on these two for months and the wildest part of it all?

Bill. Does. Not. Care.

– Mark Emerson

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