Dez Reads. Yawn.

How’s that for an attention grabbing subject line?

I don’t mean to suggest that this edition of Dez Reads is boring, I mean to suggest that Phil Bogdan is interested in the evolutionary biology of the yawn. He leads this week with a scientific breakthrough revealing that zebrafish “catch” yawns from each other, just as humans do. It matters!

I follow with some fake news about British food being good, and an insider’s take on the best curry in the UK (just up the road from the World Famous City Ground, in Nottingham).

Mark Emerson is surprised that RFK’s HHS was duped by an April Fool’s tweet; I am less surprised.

To bring us home this week, Bova invokes witchcraft to will his hapless New York teams to victory, and Anne Marie spikes the football on her previous Dez Reads prediction regarding doping in sports.

And for those curious about last week’s poll result, Jon Hamm ran away with it, securing the top spot to play Alan Jackson in the inevitable Karen Read miniseries.

We hope you all enjoy another great summer weekend, and thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

IFL Science. Zebrafish “Catch” Yawns Just Like Us – We Might Need To Rethink Evolution To Account For That

Yawning is a curious thing. We yawn when we’re sleepy or bored – or when we see other humans and animals do it. And though we were too preoccupied to remember, we probably even yawned in our own moms’ wombs. Yet, nobody knows why.

It’s not like scientists aren’t trying to figure it out. One search for “yawning” on Google Scholar yields 50,000-plus results. Scientists have made some great biological finds: Yawning cools the brain; it loosens muscles; it wets and stretches lungs and gets blood flowing. Putting it all together, some scientists think contagious yawning is a form of communication that keeps us warm-blooded animals healthy and alert for when an apex predator – or maybe an ornery boss in the office – wants to make a meal out of us.

But this week, some truly mind-blowing research led us to the precipice of a massive new rabbit hole to explore: Scientists observed contagious yawning in zebrafish, a cold-blooded animal. From an evolutionary perspective, we could soon learn whether ancestors of humans and fish contagiously yawned to protect each other in some hostile community of primordial ooze. Must scientists jump down this rabbit hole? No. But why not? The results will be more entertaining than a reality show.

– Phil Bogdan

The Economist. Americans are catching on to the joy of British food. Yes, really.

This story is fake news.

As the grateful husband of a beautiful English expat, I have been introduced to many wonderful elements of British culture. While I love a traditional English pub (to the extent there are any left), Welsh rarebit, black pudding and basically everything on the menu other than chips are to be avoided.

Smart travelers know that when in the UK, it’s best to stick to Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi curries. I recommend Mr. Khan’s place on Mansfield Road in Nottingham. Try the Rogan Josh with garlic naan.

– Josh Culling

The Independent. White House duped by April Fools’ tweet about In-N-Out ingredient changes

Misinformation is everywhere. And while we love to laugh at the reels of folks getting duped by AI-generated headlines or falling for fake Facebook articles, none of us, not even the White House, are immune.

A recent April Fools’ Day post from an In-N-Out fan account joked that the burger chain was switching to 100% beef tallow for frying. The White House, in a press release praising Trump’s “Make America Healthy Again” campaign, cited it as a real policy win – linking directly to the prank tweet. They’ve since scrubbed it from their website, but not before reporters got the email (and screenshots).

The real takeaway here? If even the executive branch can get fooled by a burger fan account on April 1st, maybe it’s time we all slow down before posting, citing, or claiming a win. Or, at the very least, someone in the West Wing should be fact-checking fast food updates before declaring apparent national health victories.

Otherwise, as we all know, the internet always wins.

– Mark Emerson

WSJ. Etsy Witches Charge for Jobs, Sunshine and Knicks Wins. Business Is Booming.

As a desperate NY Knicks, Mets, Jets and Rangers fan, I have done some desperate things to will my teams to victory. But some entrepreneurial users on Etsy have found a way to make money off this desperation by listing witchcraft for a small fee.

It is pretty simple: You pay someone on Etsy to perform a “ritual” for whatever outcome you are looking for. During the darkest hour for the Knicks in the Eastern Conference Finals this year, one user paid $8.48 to cast a victory spell ahead of Game 5. Now, when your team features Jalen Brunson, it is hard to give anyone else credit for a win, but the spell likely didn’t hurt. Unfortunately, the magic wore off for Game 6.

One shop has over 4,000 sales on Etsy and sells a permanent protection spell for about $200. Another shop has over 44,000 sales and lists a “bring your ex lover back” spell for about $7. Not a bad price, if you ask me.

– Mike Bova

The Guardian. Marathon world record holder Ruth Chepngetich suspended over banned substance

In a previous Dez Read, I wrote about the skepticism around Ruth Chepngetich’s marathon world record – 2 hours 9 mins and 56 seconds set in Chicago last October. It’s incredibly weird to quote myself, but here I am:

As cynical as it may sound, we’re at a crossroads in athletic achievement. Do we accept doping as part of the sport, or do we fundamentally reevaluate our expectations, incentives, and regulations? The hard truth: If athletes continue to dope, deny it, and later get caught, any athletic advancement will always risk carrying an asterisk.  

Unsurprisingly, Chepngetich is now facing a two-year ban after testing positive for a banned diuretic and masking agent. In light of this new information, I’d like to amend my prior take to be even more cynical.

We’re not at a crossroads; we’ve come to expect that doping will happen. Lance Armstrong was more than 10 years ago and the federal and Congressional investigations into doping in Major League Baseball were more than 20 years ago. The shock of that has worn off.

Most people with an interest in athletics like seeing people win – that’s where the dopamine rush is – and that’s all that matters. After that, we’ve gotten what we needed and can move on to the next natural high, whether that’s doomscrolling, spending time in nature, sports betting or exercise.

“Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” – Vince Lombardi.

– Anne Marie Malecha

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